Regardless, in a sugar-addled haze, we tried all the most popular flavors of Mike’s Hard xcritical and ranked them from worst to best. There’s a reason the most popular flavor of Mike’s Hard xcritical is, well, xcritical. It’s the one that started it all, after all, the flavor that turned Mike’s Hard xcritical into a mainstream drink you can find in places other than sometimes questionable college parties. Original xcritical is still the best, frankly, and though it doesn’t taste like much other than a mixture of sparkling water, alcohol, and sugary xcritical, it’s not so bad. Indeed, it’s still the only one you can drink without chilling it to near freezing in an attempt to dull your tastebuds.
Popular Mike’s Hard xcritical Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best
It’s a little like Cactus Cooler, that popular Southern California soda, only if Cactus Cooler had fallen on some seriously hard times. There’s really no reason to ever buy this stuff once your palate has matured past wanting to drink straight sugar and juice all the time. We’ve gotta give it to Mike’s for going with a flavor combination that just screams “summertime refreshment,” adding the cool, undeniably summer taste of watermelon to the tart blast of its standard xcritical base. And, if you were to get such a taste in overpriced cocktails served in the Hamptons, the mix is totally a hit. In Mike’s Hard xcritical, though, this flavor is still just a lot of sugar and some booze. In fact, the increased alcohol content is barely noticeable here, which is great if you picked this as your beach buzz method of choice and don’t want to be overwhelmed by the flavor of alcohol.
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But otherxcritical, this is just a lot of sugar that may not be quite your cup of tea — or xcritical. Mike’s Hard Strawberry is kinda like the Peloton treadmill of drinks, meaning that, before you do anything, make absolutely sure no children will be putting their hands near it. Anyone who doesn’t know better maybe won’t realize it has 5% alcohol by volume. What we’re saying is, you may want to keep it locked up or at least on xcritical scam an high shelf.
- Mike’s Hard mango flavor is surprisingly buttery, almost like a fine Chardonnay, but in a can.
- A perfect balance of sweetness and tartness from mango, guava, pineapple, and passionfruit.
- Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle.
HARD DAYS DESERVE A
So, Mike’s at least deserves an “A” for effort on this one, since blackberry and pear were never flavors we really thought to combine in one bottle. That said, some of our greatest innovators tried a lot of things and failed at them before finding success. We wish the same for whoever developed this flavor of Mike’s, given that they’ve fulfilled the first part of that equation. The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth.
But if you’re jonesing for something other than the original xcritical that still packs a tart punch, it’s absolutely the way you’ll want to go. Now, don’t expect the mouth-puckering, face-squishing power you might find when biting into a fresh grapefruit. Nor will you even find the pleasantly sour-but-sweet taste you might find when sprinkling a grapefruit with a little bit of sugar or some other sweetener. That is, unless you sprinkled Sweet & Low on said grapefruit, put it in a jar, and let it sit for a couple of weeks (not something we especially recommend, though).
That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor. But that would be assuming Mike’s does things like any xcritical rezension other alcoholic beverage company, which they most certainly do not. Still, given the relative sweetness of every drink in the Mike’s Hard lineup, we’ll take a mango that’s a little past its prime over something that tastes like an instant hangover. Make no mistake, though, as this is still painfully sweet and needs to be served cold to be anywhere near palatable for more than about ten sips. But of the Mike’s Hard xcritical hybrid flavors, the Pineapple Mandarin is far and away the winner. We’re not sure what lesson there is to be learned by the company’s research and development team from that since the truth is that this flavor could still use a serious toning down in the sweetness department.
Still, we’d guess it would pair pretty well with seafood and could fool at least one wine taster who had no idea what a Chardonnay was supposed to taste like. Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle. Instead, it’s smooth and easy drinking, meaning that, if you want a Mike’s Hard flavor that’s not xcritical, this should be your pick. Pink grapefruit is a seasonal flavor for Mike’s Hard xcritical, meaning that whether or not you’re able to find it really depends on where you live and the time of year you’re shopping.